I remember being in elementary math class and feeling the anxiousness of watching the teacher write problems on the board. I knew what was coming. I remember so badly wanting to raise my hand and offer to solve the problem. I was good at math. I had all the tools to solve the problem. And yet the moment I would proceed with raising my hand- the doubt would start rolling in. What if I’m wrong? What if I mess up? What if people laugh at me? What if people look down on me?
What If I’m not as smart as the other kids? I should just let them solve the problems. By the end of the conversation with myself, I had completely talked myself out of ever raising my hand.
That mentality followed me through my entire life. Always wanting more, wishing I could do more, and yet reminding myself of all the reasons why I’m not qualified. Allowing and even encouraging others to be brave and step out, while I kept still in my complacency due to fear and doubt. If I never step out, then I never risk being hurt. Then one Sunday morning, as I sat in my church pew, my pastor said something that shook me. He said “GO!”. He began to talk about putting yourself out there and letting God use you. NOW is the time to GO. He talked about all the different people in the bible that God used and loved that were not qualified. Doubters, liars, murderers, tax collectors, and so forth. God simply asked them to be willing to GO, to follow him. Their willingness to follow him and belief was what qualified them. As I sat in that pew, I felt God speaking so clearly; “Nikki, it's time to go. I have so much work for you to do in my kingdom, why are you holding back?”
Why was I holding back? Why do any of us hold back? Why are you holding back? What are the thoughts that run through your mind? Do they look like mine? My self-doubt... “What if I mess up? What if people see me screw up. What if I get hurt? I have a past. I’m not qualified.”
I needed a mind transformation. I began to seek God and his will, and his word gave me all the remedies to my problems!
Jesus said to the people “IF you ABIDE in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
Philippians 4:8 told me what to focus my daily thoughts on. Thoughts that are TRUE, NOBLE, RIGHT, PURE, LOVELY, ADMIRABLE, PRAISEWORTHY!
I began to run my thoughts through a new filter from God’s word. And when the lies from the enemy that caused me to have doubt would come, I would call them out with TRUTH from God's word. That’s how Jesus combated Satan’s in the wilderness. That’s what I needed to do also!
I began to put one foot in front of the other, clinging to the truth from God's word. God DOES love me. God WANTS me. God wants to USE me and my life to bring him Glory. God has a PLAN for me. And that plan is GREAT! I AM QUALIFIED because I am a child of God. Step by step, fighting fear and doubt every step of the way. God is showing me what HE can do when we step out and choose to GO!
What’s your GO today? In what area is God calling you to step out and put that first foot in front of the other? Stop listening to the lies. You ARE qualified! Being a child of the King makes you qualified. You have amazing and wonderful gifts and talents that God wants to use in his kingdom! Don’t let fear win. Come on, lets go! There is work to be done!
“And because we are his children, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, prompting us to call out, “Abba, Father.” Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child. And since you are his child, God has made you his heir.” Galatians 4:6-7, NLT
Love in Christ,
Nikki