As I sit here with my cup of coffee and my warm blanket, I imagine us sitting together, as I express my heart on a particular topic that continues to be on my mind lately. So, lets talk about it. I want to talk about the masks and facades that we wear to church and why transparency can be so scary and yet so rewarding. We often talk about how we walk into church with a pretend smile on our face, when we are not ok. But I want to go a little deeper than that. I am talking about deep hurt and pain that we hide because we do not want other people to see it. I am talking about anger, doubt, sorrow, shame, which seems to haunt us. Sometimes we don’t really know how to deal with it. It never seems to go away. Or sometimes it is a current situation that weighs us down. We think that people will judge us, look down on us, or disqualify us as Christians, so we shove it to the back and hide behind our mask of perfection, in hopes that nobody ever sees it or notices that we are not okay. Meanwhile that facade that we wear to cover it can feel so exhausting at times. We want to tell someone so badly. We want somebody to cry with us, hug us, pray with us, encourage us; but the fear of transparency holds us hostage. We come so close to reaching out or being honest with someone around us and then the fear overcomes us, and we revert right back to our facade. Then we go home and overthink everything we say and/or everything we wish we should have said. I remember feeling this way. I remember going through this cycle repeatedly. I understand the fear. But when I found the freedom that Christ offers, I realized something; we ALL need God’s grace. We ALL need God’s mercy. We all fall short and miss the mark. We all have pain. My pain may not be the same as yours, but that does not matter. My mistakes may not be the same as yours; but that does not matter either. What matters is that we both can come together at the feet of Jesus with our fears and failures. When I began to feel this calling to transparency with women in the church, I knew it would come with struggle. But I also wanted other women to understand and experience the freedom that can be found with vulnerability and transparency.

2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

I believe that with every experience, as we allow God to work in our lives, He can use those experiences to help others that are going through the same thing. Divorce, abuse, financial strain, miscarriage, marital struggles, issues raising kids; all these things are HARD. We learn hard lessons on how to lean on our Heavenly Father, and we get the opportunity to see his hand at work in our lives. If scripture tell us that there is power in our testimony, do you think Satan wants any of us sharing with others? I see how Satan has used this fear tactic to keep Gods people from sharing their true testimony. It keeps us in an isolated place with walls and guards against anyone seeing what we have been through or what we are going through.

Mathew 5:14 “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden.”

When we let women see our failures and weakness, they see Christ BEING our strength. When we allow other women to pray for us, they see God working in our lives and can experience the power of prayer. When we allow women to see our doubt, they see us search out Gods word and get to experience the power of God’s living word. When we allow transparency; new believers realize that we do not have to be perfect for God to use us in his Kingdom. When we allow transparency; we can show women what growth looks like. How can we ever show growth if we hide behind our façade of perfection? When we show women that we give God all the glory and allow transparency; it makes us more approachable. It builds trust. It builds relationships. I believe it is because we are allowing God to truly be the foundation of the relationship. We want to allow Christ to shine in and through us. THAT is what will lead others to Christ. Not our perfection, rituals, or religion.

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship.” – Romans 12:1

Now, this does not give us the right or privilege to be complainers. There is a substantial difference between sharing what we are going through with transparency and allowing other woman to come along side us with prayer and encouragement VS being a grouchy, negative, complainer. When I am going through something hard or dealing with hard emotions, I am still seeking Jesus. When I am being a negative complainer, I am seeking attention for myself. Do you see the difference? Am I seeking Jesus and allowing other women to come along side me to seek Him with me? Or am I seeking to feed my selfish fleshly desire to focus on myself.

I read Gods word, and I see so much transparency. And that is why we read it. We can relate. It gives us reassurance when we see Gods people crying out with real emotions that we deal with every day. It gives us hope that God can use a sinner like us. There are woman around you that need to hear your testimony. There are woman in your life right now that need to know they are not alone in their feelings of shame or feelings of inadequacy. Did you know that recent statistics show that 60% of woman in the church who are told to see a councilor or therapist, really just need another Christian woman to walk alongside them with compassion, prayer and experience. We are dropping the ball. God wants to use us. We must be there to pray for one another, encourage one another, remind one another of truth from God’s word! We cannot do that without being vulnerable and transparent. So, I ask you today to be bold and step out from behind your façade. Allow God to work in and through you in a powerful way. Let us stop being prideful glory hogs by trying to appear perfect all the time and instead point others to God’s strength and power in our weakness.

Galatians 5:13 “You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love.”

Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

With love, as a sister in Christ who is still growing daily,

Nikki